I would like to say that I've wholeheartedly embraced the idea of a new year. However, I still feel like I'm on the cusp of wrapping up 2011 and readying myself for this year. The good news is that I feel headed in the right direction.
In early December, I had a bit of a revelation. I hadn't baked since the November farmers' market, and I was starting my holiday truffle extravaganza. Brainstorming flavors and garnishes had started weeks earlier, but it wasn't until I was actually in the kitchen that I felt entirely at peace. Happy to be back in the kitchen, making, happy to be working towards a goal, and happy to be working for myself.
This was a huge discovery because I've always enjoyed doing lots of different things (those of you who have known me for awhile might have taken out some of my origami cranes to hang on your tree this year!). Sometimes I still wonder what would've happened if I had followed my initial path of music or continued to make jewelry. I was not a naturally talented musician (and even verged on tone-deaf to some degree), and I really had to work at being an oboist. And it pains me to admit it, but I don't think I'm a natural artist, either. I love making books (and I loved making jewelry), but everything I craft is too analytical and almost stubborn in demeanor. I couldn't quite express myself in any of these pursuits.
Somehow, baking seems to be the most natural of all the things I have tried. I never took making sweets seriously because it was such an easy part of my life. I'm starting to come to terms with the baking thing and even expand the idea of it this year. I see 2012 as a challenging and fulfilling year for me once I'm ready to push full steam ahead.